I’m very curious to see if Nickelodeon can out Nickelodeon themselves. They crushed it last year with all the special effects and weird stats and stuff.
I remember last year when they had some dumbass kid in the booth with Nate Burleson and that kid kept throwing in his 2 cents after Nate did a legitimate breakdown of a play.
Nate: “Janoris Jenkins looked to jump that ball. He got a good cut on the route, but it just slipped between his hands.”
Kid: “David Montgomery’s favorite Ice Cream is Mint!”
It was hilarious.
Dallas and San Fran are the Nickelodeon game this weekend. Don’t forget.
Eagles @ Buccaneers
Bucs -8.5, O/U 46
This game is gonna be wet, this game is gonna be sloppy, and this game is gonna be windy.
It’s a perfect situation for the Birds.
Yes. The Bucs beat the fuck out of the Eagles in week 6.
Yes. Tom Brady has more experience in the playoffs than any soul in this universe and most other Universes.
Yes. The Eagles’ defense plays against good Quarterbacks with the tenacity of a Toddler with a spoon fighting a Roman Gladiator with the BFG from Doom.
BUT. Maaaaan, wouldn't it be sick if the Eagles made this a fun game?
Here are some things that have changed since week 6 for the Eagles:
1.) The Eagles run the ball (They ran the ball 1 time in the first half in the week 6 game).
2.) The Eagles have Dallas Goedert, Jordan Mailata, and Lane Johnson playing and in their correct positions (In week 6, Lane was out, Mailata was at RT, and Goedert was out)
3.) The Eagles run the ball (It was seriously 1 time in 30 minutes of game time)
4.) Nick Sirianni is actually a good coach and play-caller (He was a dick head until the Raiders game. Like when he only ran the ball one time in the first half in week 6)
5.) The Eagles run the ball (They capped off a 1 rushing attempt 1st half with a 6 rushing attempt 2nd half in week 6)
The Eagles are going to make this a good game.
Eagles +8.5. Go Birds.
49ers @ Cowboys
Cowboys -3, O/U 51
I know I said that the 49ers wouldn’t win a playoff game, but I would like to rescind that.
Fuck Dallas. I’m a big Deebo guy and I can’t wait for Nickelodeon to have fun saying the name “Deebo”. Deebo is a good Nickelodeon name.
Fuck Dallas. 49ers +3
Steelers @ Chiefs
Chiefs -13, O/U 46
Okay, this is still a playoff game at the highest level of professional football. 13 points are just so many points. I know the last time and the time before that and the time before that and the time before that, when I said, “That’s too many points” it wasn’t actually too many points. But this time I’m for real.
It’d actually be a statistical anomaly if I was wrong about it being too many points this many times in a row.
Yeah, Big Ben is bad now. He’s gone past being a shell of himself. Now he’s a Tupac-esque hologram of himself. Big Ben is dead and this is just smoke and mirrors.
But that Steelers defense aint no joke. They’re straight up smooshing dicks and they single handedly brought a team to the playoffs. Of course, by “single handedly” with a lot of help from other teams losing.
The Chiefs kinda looked like shit against a Denver team that had nothing to play for. Drew Lock is 100x worse than this version of Big Ben, and if he can get an offense downfield on the chiefs then so can the Steelers.
Steelers +13.