I watched the Matrix Reloaded yesterday. 29 years old and I still have no idea what the plot is. I think they try to explain it in a half a sentence when Neo visits the Oracle in the park but she’s literally a Mystic program and it doesn’t make sense, seemingly on purpose. Then they mask that with a super dope 1 vs 1,000 fight with Neo and the Mr. Smiths. “Hey movie viewer, here’s the whole point of this movie. Absolutely don’t forget that single independent clause or you’ll be confused for the next 90 minutes. Now check out Neo while he smashes the concrete off of a tetherball pole by hitting a guy in the chest.” Fuck them.
Watching that part did make me realize how dumb I was as a kid when I saw it the first 15 times. I always knew that the big Mr. Smith fight was CGI, but I not to the extent that it actually is. I legit thought Keanu was jumping on Hugo Weaving’s Stuntmen’s faces.
That’s not what happened. They actually used a Gamecube to render the animation for it. Truly a bad product in 2021, just like:
Jets @ Falcons @ London
(Falcons -2.5, O/U 45.5)
Don’t watch this game. Don’t support this game. Write to your congressperson and complain about this game.
Fuck it, take the under. This game will be 14-3, I don’t know who is who.
Browns @ Chargers
(Chargers -2, O/U 47.0)
The Chargers looked good on Monday. It was pretty impressive the way they chopped up the Raiders’ defense. It was also pretty impressive the Brandon Staley put together coherent thoughts about running backs in that press conference. It’s also going to be pretty impressive when the Browns beat them this week.
Yeah, they have a recent common denominator of an opponent in the Chiefs. Yeah, the Chargers beat the Chiefs and the Browns didn’t. But here’s the thing about that:
The Browns SHOULD have beat the Chiefs. You didn’t think about that, did you?
The Browns have a super good defense. I’m assuming Myles Garrett took the r/RedPill and got banned from Reddit because there is no way someone is able to move as fast as him without leaving and reentering the Matrix. Did you see that one play where he bullet-timed one of the Bears Guards? You can’t do anything about that if you’re on an offensive line.
I know he’s not the only one on their defense and he is definitely an outlier in talent level, but they’re only allowing around 17 points a game and a big part of that is their offense’s ability to play defense by choking time away. They’re a really good team and that’s gonna be shown on Sunday afternoon.
Browns +2
Bills @ Chiefs
(Chiefs -3, O/U 56.5)
This game is a lot like The Matrix Reloaded. Remember when neo is fighting all those weirdo guys with swords and other bull shit and then he smacks that guy in the face with a mace and he dies and shit? And then some other guy comes outta nowhere and he’s all like, “WHOOSH BITCH” with a sword and then Neo’s all like, “Suck my dick, Nerd” and stops the sword with his hand and then the guy pulls the sword away and there's like a super tiny drop of blood? And then the French dude is like, “See? He’s just a man. He can bleed.”
You remember all that? Maybe you don’t, because the highway scene is right after that and that’s where Morpheus is fighting an agent with a katana on top of a semi-trailer right after he killed two ghosts.
Whatever. The movie is super cool and I don’t understand the plot one bit.
The point is:
The Chiefs lost 2 games this year and they can get scored on EASILY. Shit, the Eagles did it last Sunday and they suck butts.
I don’t know how many points the Chiefs are going to score. No one does. They’re crazy good, but so is the Bills’ defense. One this we don’t know is that the Bills are going to score like crazy.
YOU READY FOR ANOTHER PISS BET? I AM!
Bills Team Total over 27.5.
That’s just 4 touchdowns. The Eagles almost maybe could’ve done that in a half if they had a coach who wasn’t a total bitch.
If the Bills don’t score Over 27.5 points, I will drink a cup of my own piss.
Seal it in blood.