Thanksgiving is better than Christmas and if you think differently you’re an asshole.
Here’s everything that Thanksgiving has that Christmas doesn’t:
My birthday is typically the same week as Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving has more wine than Christmas.
Turkey Trots are more SLIGHTLY more entertaining than Church.
Sometimes my Birthday is on Thanksgiving.
Game. Set. Match.
Colts @ Cardinals
Cardinals -1, O/U 49
I don’t think either of these teams wins a playoff game. Unfortunately, that doesn’t matter here.
Things that do matter:
1. Jonathan Taylor hasn’t been dead for more than 48 hours. He’s enough of a game-changer that even if he was dead for 47 hours, his body has so much power and talent that he could still score 3 times.
2. Darius Leonard hasn’t had his arms torn off. Those are important for how good he is.
3. DeAndre Hopkins isn’t playing. If he’s not on the field, then that frees up at least 1 and a half people.
Colts ML.
Bills @ Pats
Pats -2.5, O/U 43.5
I really liked the Bills 2 weeks ago and I really like them now for the same exact reasons.
To sum it all up: They’re better.
So they’ll probably lose by 14 or some bull shit.
Bills +2.5.
Washingtons @ Cowboys
Cowboys -10.5, O/U 46.5
I gotta tell ya. I don’t think there are going to be 6 touchdowns in this game. I don’t think Dallas is the big swangin’ dick of an offense that they want to be. I don’t think Washington is unlike Karl Havoc; they don’t even want to be around anymore. I don’t think this game is going to be any fun to watch.
I’m going side with that masochistic urge and take the under.
Under 46.5