I try to stay humble and grounded. I really do. But sometimes I have to boast.
I’m a great gift giver. I’m a great gift giver on a lot of levels. If it’s for someone who I know is very procedural, then I can go off a list. If it’s someone who doesn’t know what they want, then I can get really creative. The fact of the matter is that if you give me a list of people, their aesthetic, and 90 minutes in an antique mall, I’ll buy the absolute fuck out of some heartfelt ass presents.
That’s why it’s total bullshit for someone to ask for me to donate to charity on their behalf as a gift to them.
I’m not against donating to charity.
As a matter of fact, I made it into the local newspaper in 7th grade for donating $150 to a food bank on a dare.
I’m not against donating to charity.
But fuck off with asking me to do that as a present for you. That’s not a gift for you. That’s you trying to force someone to be a better person. You’re pawning off your charity onto someone else and you’re a total dickhead for it.
Also, hey. You’re just asking for cash.
But don’t worry. I’ll donate to some bullshit thing about helping prevent aneurysms in dogs. You fuck.
49ers @ Titans
49ers -3.5, O/U 44.5
Why have people been saying they like the 49ers making a Postseason run? They’re a Chevy Impala: They’re not good. They’re not bad. They’re just fine.
The Titans have been doing extraordinarily okay since Derrick Henry went out. I would’ve thought their world would crumble since everyone that could do something on offense died or whatever. Fooled me though. Their backups have been very competent.
I guess the 49ers have had their own injuries going on in the RB room, and now Elijah Mitchell is out for this game? Sheesh. These guys are in trouble.
It’s the mix of these two remarkably unremarkable teams that gives me no choice but to take the points.
Titans +3.5